Freitag, 28. August 2009

Hannahs Roombox with Schultüte

I had no chance to give Hannah her present for the first day at school. Her appointment-book is allways full. I gave it to her mother, but she was very angry with me: Hannah has enough toys. I said, it is not a toy, its a gift and a memory, they can hang it on the wall. No, they never would put stuff like this on the wall, it will be dusty and she and her husband don't like it.



  1. Oh that is so sad. Hannah is only just starting school, and she already has so many toys that she can't have any more? And her mother decides what gifts from other people Hannah can have? I realise that German culture and English/Australian cultures are different, but in our language we say 'it's the thought that counts'. That means often, a small gift with a lot of thought put into it is just as good as a big expensive one. In this case, also, you have put a lot of time and care into making the gift. It's usually considered very rude to say you don't like a gift, even if that's true, or to reject it. And it's hurtful, too. Maybe this is changing here, but usually people don't want to hurt the giver's feelings, so they say thankyou and display it for a while (or even put it away and take it out again when the giver is going to visit!)
    I am very sorry for both you and Hannah.

  2. yes, I'm sad for Hannah too. I asked her on the telephone what was in her schultuete and she answered: I have allready forgotten, a lot of stuff.
    so you see, all the relatives came with so many stuff and the mom has the bad job to keep it away from her. I know this "bad job" from my own childs.
    about the politeness. It's usual in germany too to act like you told. but my cousin and I are both very honest and I encouraged her allways to say the truth - okay: so I have to live with it.
    Perhaps she will give it back to me in a few weeks, when Hannah is tired of, so that I can give it to another guy who loves it.

  3. Maybe when you went to school, you didn't have so many toys, so receiving a Schultüte was more exciting? Now - just more stuff.
    I wonder too if your cousin was so honest with all the other relatives who came with 'stuff', or perhaps she feels she can be honest with you as you've encouraged her to be! That is a compliment in a way.
    I hope, if they really don't like it, that they give it back so you can give it to someone who appreciates it :-)

  4. This is so sad. I'm sure Hannah would love this much more than all of her other "toys!"
    Her mother needs some counseling in gratitude and tactfulness. How rude to refuse a beautiful handmade gift! I hope that Hannah can visit you so she can enjoy the little room you made for her!

  5. Oh no! that is so sad :(
    You had captured a very important time in her childhood, a memory to be treasured! its so sad that Hannah has not been given the opportunity to own a memory like this! this isn't a toy and should not be classed as one! you took your time to make something to be treasured and it should have been accepted in good faith! how dissappointing! sorry I'm going on about it! its so sad!

  6. oh please stop with your comments like this, they make me cry. thank you very much for your empathic compassion.
    So it's really dissapointing that my cousin doesn't see this roombox as it was meant, like Natalie said. But on the other hand I can understand that our children have too much. Hannahs grandmother and the grandmother of my children are sisters. they grew up during the war and had not enough from everything. so they wanted their children and grandchildren to have a better life and give them to many things. Allthough I told it to my mother so often and we had very big conflicts, she didn't stop to buy for my children what they want and more. (not to mention the TV-watching-theme!!!).So I was the "bad" mom and grandma was the good!
    A few years ago, when my son had his 25. birthday, he told us, that he would act like me and would not give his children too many things and the "better" toys, not plastic.
    That was a great pleasure for me.

  7. You have a good heart and I know your niece will always know that. Gifts are often unappreciated today because as you said the children of today get so much. My grandchildren get so not many many gifts for birthdays that they did even Remember who gave which gift them. Every gift I bought was a duplcate of one someone else gave. Their playroom is so full of toys you can not even walk across the floor.

  8. yes Doreen, sometimes it's a poor rich world.


    die spinnt doch! jetzt mal ehrlich - wen interessiert ob es dem mann gefällt? es soll dem kind gefallen... manchen leuten ist doch echt nicht zu helfen!

    lg, nicola - die schier entsetzt ist & etwas mit dem lesen hinterherhinkt :(